Erotic massage is a wonderful way to relax, connect and explore pleasure with a lover or close friend. In the path of Tantra, we enjoy coming together to honor and celebrate the body as a temple of delight. This experience will allow you to explore erotic energy in new ways and is also a wonderful prelude to making love. Learn about six benefits of erotic massage.
Preparation
Prepare a warm, quiet and comfortable place where you will not be disturbed for the next 2 hours. Make sure all phones are turned off. Light some candles and play some relaxing and romantic music.
greeting from the heart
Begin with the Greeting to the Heart. It is an ancient tantric practice to recognize the Divine in each one when entering sacred time. Sit opposite your partner and look into his eyes. Maintain eye contact throughout the rest of the process. Extend your arms toward the ground, palms together. Inhale and, keeping them together, bring your hands to your heart. Breathe out, as you lean forward and acknowledge the Divine in each other. Inhale as you straighten up. Finally, exhale as you allow your hands to return to the starting position, pointing toward the ground.
The bubble
The Bubble calls you to the awareness of the present moment and creates a safe space in which to offer an erotic massage. Make a bubble around you and your partner with your arms so that it encircles both of you. Remove things from the bubble that will not serve this process (the past, distractions, anger, worry, etc.). Do this with a gesture, as if you were physically removing an object, while saying out loud what you are removing. Then bring things into your bubble that will enhance your connection (Love, Will, Presence, Trust, etc.) Again, use gestures and spoken words. Here are two examples:
“I release the past.”
“I call the passion.”
Share your desires, fears and limits
Once the bubble is created, share your desires, fears and limits related to giving and/or receiving an erotic massage. One person talks while the other listens, without judging or commenting. Then switch roles. Here’s an example:
“My desire is to stay connected to the erotic energy.”
“My fear is that I may fall asleep and you will be hurt or disappointed.”
“My limit is to finish this practice at 11 pm.”
healthy limits
People often think of boundaries as walls. Healthy boundaries are actually bridges that bring people together. Intimacy arises when healthy boundaries are respected. You feel safe, you are open and present. Limits can change, so check back periodically to see how you’re feeling. If your limit has changed, tell your partner. Please don’t expect them to read your mind.
Giving an erotic massage
Decide who will give and who will receive. Invite the recipient to lie face down on a massage table, bed, or blanket on the floor. Make sure they are warm and comfortable. Then the giver is grounded and gently places their hands on the receiver. Recognize that this is a unique opportunity to honor and serve your beloved. Tune in to the receiver. One way to tune in is to breathe with them for a few minutes.
He begins to awaken his skin by gently caressing it with feathers, hair or with the tips of his fingers. When you’re ready, cover his body with warm oil. Use long, slow massage strokes. You are massaging more than the surface of his body. You are connecting with them on multiple levels. Encourage them to take deep breaths, make sounds, and move their bodies. This allows the energy of the body to wake up, move and release. Use different parts of your body – your hair, arms and chest – to massage your partner. Be playful, curious and creative.
About halfway through the allotted time, invite the receiver to turn around. Massage the front of his body with warm oil, again using long strokes. He presents sound in a new way by toning his body, using sounds like Ahh, Yumm or Omm. This can be a powerful tool to activate your energy body partners.
When he feels ready, offer to explore your genitals. In SkyDancing Tantra we call the vagina “Yoni” which means “Cosmic Womb” and the penis “Vajra” which means “Lightning”. Start on the outside of the genitals with oil. At first, be gentle and go slow. Give them time to release any tension in the area. Listen to your body. Watch them respond and get excited. Focus on what gives them pleasure. Try different strokes. Once again, be creative. If you’re going to get an internal massage, use a water-based lubricant. How much pleasure can they afford? Are you open to exploring the possibility of multiple orgasms?
Close by bringing together and connecting your heart centers with love, compassion, and gratitude. Help them sit down and end with a Greeting to the Heart. Offer them water or juice to drink and a chocolate or piece of fruit to eat. You may want to share what this experience was like for you. What was it like to give and/or receive in this way?
Six benefits of erotic massage are:
1) Awakens the senses and activates the healing of the whole body.
2) It allows you to explore pleasure in new and creative ways.
3) Use eye contact, connected breathing, and touch to enhance intimacy.
4) Create a conscious connection between the giver and the receiver.
5) Use breath, sound and movement to arouse a full body orgasm.
6) Dissolves the illusion of separation and allows Unity to emerge.