Two new discoveries as father and husband


‘Meg bit Ted,’ my son read, his eyes immediately filling with tears. Even before he read those words, he had sensed that something was about to happen. I comforted him, before asking if he was okay. He said yes, but clearly, he hadn’t fully recovered. Being that it was before the school day started, I mentioned to the teacher what had happened and she was like, ‘Oh, that’s sweet, that’s empathy.’ I agreed. We went and sat on the mat, and then my son said that he really didn’t want a dog because he didn’t want his teddy bear to get bitten.

Empathy can suffer from a broken heart.

Empathy can experience the fullness of God’s reality.

Empathy can be bravely vulnerable.

Yet we often suppress empathy

because it feels like weakness.

And fortunately we don’t protect our children

of these experiences at school.

Particularly in an increasingly narcissistic age,

one of the best gifts we can give our children

they are opportunities to experience and express empathy.

Then I called my wife at work to tell her what had happened. Of course, she melted her heart. Then something very unremarkable happened. We end the call the same way we normally end calls when one of us is at work, with a simple goodbye and not an ‘I love you’.

Suddenly God showed me something. Until recently he had been saying ‘I love you’, whether my wife said it or not. By not saying ‘I love you’ was I missing out on an opportunity to communicate my love, even if my wife didn’t feel comfortable reciprocating since she was at work?

The opportunity is to tell her again that I love her and not get upset because she can’t reciprocate in that situation. She had simply followed her lead, having thought it was the right thing to stop saying I love you. But the best opportunity is to continue saying I love you while she accepts that it is better for her not to reciprocate in that situation.

I really feel that God was saying,

love spreads without waiting

the other to reach the back.

Love loves because it can

not because I should

not because he was fooled,

and definitely not to be reimbursed.

I subscribe to the opinion that none of us knows when we draw our last breath, and I would prefer that all my loved ones know through my words how I feel about them.

Some days go by without much fanfare, but there are other days that are simply filled with meaningful experiences. In 30 minutes there were two experiences that are significant in the eternal realm.

Why would I communicate these things to you in this way today?

It could be as simple as remembering the sanctity of life that is enriched by the common experiences we all have.

We all have those simple and powerful moments with our children. All our children are special. My son is no more special than yours! All our precious in the eyes of God.

Love has its chances in life.

We take them today or miss them forever.

And if we miss you today,

we’ll take them tomorrow.

As we journal about our experiences, we allow God to enrich us through the precious experience of reflection. This is simply what I have done here.

I really wonder what the hell we really have.

Death, of all things, teaches us to be open in this way.

I know that we have love, and those that God gives us to love. We can and most of us have countless possessions. All the things we have are eventually swept away, and yet one thing remains for eternity: the spiritual connection we have with each other.