When you miss your partner and all you can think about is how to win back the lost love, then there is good news for you. You can get your partner back if you use some good ideas and implement them in the right way.
When I say that, I want to point out that nothing is guaranteed, but improving your chances of getting your lover back, knowing what to do and when, is a very good start.
There are many reasons why a couple breaks up and it’s usually the little things that make a relationship eventually fall apart. Feeling neglected or taken for granted usually means that the partner who does not meet their needs is vulnerable to the attentions of another and that is how affairs begin. It is almost never one person who is at fault in these situations because the person involved would not have been tempted if their partner had been meeting their basic needs for intimacy in the relationship.
To be fair, most of the time it is not the intention of the distant partner to neglect or take their partner for granted, rather life gets in the way and they feel safe knowing that their partner loves them no matter what. Unfortunately, like gardens, an intimate relationship needs to be cared for and nurtured in order to grow and flourish, and when neglected, it withers and dies like a plant without water.
He was in a relationship where “our” needs and time together were always last on his “to do” list and eventually after living like this for years, he couldn’t move on. Like my previous partner, being sensitive to the needs of others is a must, and if you’re engaged to a special someone, you’re entitled to expect them to take some precedence over other things in your life. The first relationship in your life when you get married is your spouse, then your children, and then the family you left behind when you got married. Considering your spouse’s needs will ultimately bless your relationship and bring happiness back to you as a result. When you think of your partner and pay attention to them, you are in effect giving it back to yourself.
If your lover was attracted to another person and left you; think about what was missing from you, was it just some time and attention, or a little conversation? Had you stopped looking at them with love in your eyes, or had you stopped asking their opinion and being respectful to them? All of these things can see and poison your relationship, until one of you has had enough and leaves.
Relationships can seem complicated, but when you understand why people act the way they do, it’s not hard to build a good relationship. For example, women need to know quite regularly that their man loves and cares for them. If you are not happy with one part of your relationship, it affects other parts of the relationship, usually the physical intimacy side. Unfortunately, the man may think that she no longer finds him attractive and may be tempted to find someone who does. He certainly makes him vulnerable to the charms of a woman who does not hesitate to find him desirable and attractive. What he didn’t realize was that if he’d taken a little time to figure out why his wife wasn’t happy, they could have easily solved her problems and they’d be making love again in no time! Just because she was unhappy about something, it didn’t mean that she had stopped loving him; Far from it, the fact that she wasn’t happy meant that he still cared a lot about her.
There are many reasons why communication between the sexes is such a tangled mess. The languages that each one uses are different and it is a matter of finding out what the other means when he says something. It has even been shown that our brains are different and that men and women think very differently. We also react to things based on our past experiences and this can skew the way we relate to each other. The situation we find ourselves in today can be interpreted through the reactions we had to a similar past situation and can completely color our response in a uniquely unhelpful way. If that happens to both parties, it can make solving the problem extremely difficult without help.
If we haven’t learned good coping skills and how to identify what our responses are, the best suggestion in these circumstances is to get help to fill that gap, but not everyone is willing to seek help. There’s this myth perpetuated by who knows who that we shouldn’t need relationship help and that there must be something wrong with us if we ask for help.
The other fear is that a stranger will tell us that there is is something is wrong with us, and that whatever is wrong in the relationship is our fault. Most people find that idea very difficult to face and digest.
This is not the case when seeking counseling help.
There is no useful purpose in blaming anyone and counseling is more about identifying problems and finding the right skills to solve them. The other part of this kind of help is learning to relate to each other in a way that builds the relationship, strengthening it to weather whatever other storms of life come the couple’s way, and they usually do. It is about affirming the love that these two people have for each other and teaching them how to express it in a way that the other can easily receive and accept.
If you broke up with your partner for whatever reason and you want to win back the love you lost, first find out why it happened and then do what you need to do to learn how to win it back. If that means you’re actively learning more about healthy and effective ways to connect, then that’s what you do!
The magic of making peace with your lost love begins when you learn to be the partner they need.