In Part 1 we explored the fact that people with autism are no different from anyone else, they too enjoy sexual experiences. This article will take a closer look at what can be a part of an autistic person’s introduction to puberty.
Author Geri Newton, in her article, Social/Sexual Awareness, states that, “Many of my clients have told me that having sex with someone is the only time they feel normal…when they have sex with someone, they are like everyone else – grown up.” She says that she has heard this same message from people with identified IQs from 30 to 70, verbal and non-verbal. This is something that we as a society should take some time to explore further. Why? In my opinion, it is sad to realize that so many of our “brothers and sisters” can only feel normal when they are involved in a sexual encounter. And how much time do they spend on these sexual experiences? Most likely it won’t be too long. This means that during the other hours of the week these people are likely to feel different, even out of place.
If you are the parent of a son or daughter nearing puberty, chances are you have some concern, maybe even some fear, about how to deal with this new chapter in your autistic child’s life. During this time, you will first need to prepare your child for puberty and body changes. In girls, parents must be prepared to help their children during this exciting time. This allows parents the opportunity to review, on a regular basis, areas such as social expectations. This includes manners, positive sexual behavior, accepted social rules along with limits. These discussions should take place both at home and in public. This is the perfect time, when in a restaurant, for example, to talk about manners and behavior.
Parents of an autistic girl, entering puberty, may find it easier to use ability-appropriate level books, with pictures, to explain and show as they go. She needs to understand the various parts of her body and the function of each one. Most likely, she is delighted to learn that she will soon develop breasts. However, she may not feel the same excitement about menstruation and the procedures to follow when she starts her period. If her daughter is carrying a small bag, she should be sure to pack some sanitary pads and a clean pair of underwear. Remind her frequently of the changes she will soon be facing.
Hopefully you have been working together as a team, your teacher, your daughter, and yourself. It is imperative that the team frequently review what happens once the period begins and follow each step of pad use. You also need to understand that your sanitary napkin needs to be changed regularly and may need to clean itself as well. Following each of these steps will prepare her for the “event.” You should also teach him how to properly dispose of his used sanitary napkin. If a girl is not prepared, it can be terrifying for her to sit in a classroom and suddenly feel something run down her leg. Later, when she realizes it’s blood, it can cause her to have a very traumatic experience. As she explains the entire process, she should have a couple of sanitary pads (the kind she’ll use so she’s familiar with them) to show you the proper way to apply it. If she has a large doll or some other object, show her the steps to apply the pad. Then ask him to practice doing the same. She should review this procedure until she is comfortable and can correctly apply the pad.
In Part 3 we will talk about sexuality: your child and puberty.