Contrary to popular belief, real long-term business improvement will not be achieved at first glance. This is the vital issue to be questioned without any doubt. Don’t mix it up with sarcasm though, though indeed there are undeniable similarities to be found once you get involved. In any case, you should now be fully aware of the fact that the following pages intentionally contain many humorous connotations linked to the real world of SAP with its diverse business environment.

However, you should know that my writing style is closely related to Scott Adams’ Dilbert Management theories. [see The Dilbert Principle, 1996]. Summarizing this document, I am very happy and glad to have written such a piece of art, which is supposed to be read by everyone who was/still is involved in similar projects like this. After due deliberation, I avoided explicitly mentioning any names so as not to upset or embarrass anyone. However, if you are somewhat offended, I would like to assure you that it was definitely not intentional.

Start the process! The idea has been born, the project has its title, the writing and naming conventions have been established, the conceptual preparation work has been completed so far.

There is no doubt that, at the beginning of such a tremendous project, many issues must be taken into account beforehand, unless the whole idea is supposed to get out of hand.

Can we trust a realistic business plan? Next is the spice of life: Have you already encountered the so-called 6 phases of planning?

Here we go with the most vital aspects that must be pondered:

Enthusiasm: May look different in real life; in fact, nobody really wants to participate in the project; enthusiasm definitely needs to be redefined in terms of finding volunteers on the project team.

Confusion: Getting started doesn’t necessarily mean we’re ready for beef; Clarification of every conceivable basic concept is badly needed at this time.

Disillusionment: At this very early stage of the process, the participants realize the impossibility of the project; there might even be a hint of desperation.

Finding a scapegoat: As a logical consequence, someone to blame is soon detected: there is no way to hide in disguise.

Punish the innocent: In most cases, the weakest member of the group has to assume the role of the loser.

Viewer Reward: Unbelievable but simply true in every case: someone who doesn’t care at all will be undeservedly rewarded, winner takes all.

These typical planning phases described above are more likely to occur in our business world.

How do you feel about them? Sound familiar to you in terms of your own experience so far? Does anyone seriously question this planning philosophy? In case you run into someone, please keep me informed. I’m quite curious about the results.

Do we have a solid financial foundation (investment) that justifies our intentions due to possible fundraising needs later on? Basically, would you like to end up with a budget-constrained solution?

Can we make sure that the contents and scope of the project are well defined?

Beware: does everyone really know what it is about, what the title implies and what it means to the audience? Let’s get it right: do we just reduce the idea of ​​this project to its mere abbreviation, like staying in touch for the sake of compliance, or will we boldly refer to its overall corporate identity, i.e. successfully bridging the gap between theory and practice? ?

Have we chosen the right business partner, that is, who will be the right consulting company that will accompany the project for a long time? In fact, surely there are many famous and renowned consultants, who are basically fit for this job and enthusiastic enough to get it. But what are the substantial criteria to choose the only one? I would be interested in this selection procedure eager to know the prerequisites and assumptions.

So how do you figure out how to reasonably trust a serious consulting company? In this case, only ask for official written proof, such as your name. Doesn’t sound credible enough to develop a valuable relationship?

Do we think seriously about the right team members to participate in the process? This turns out to be a really juicy topic that also needs to be discussed in detail.

Do you happen to know the German translation of Team?

In our company culture, it literally implies that someone else is in charge. It is up to you now to verify this definition in your case. It probably helps a lot to remember the story of Someone, Nobody, Anyone and Everyone that almost all English classes will refer to when they tackle grammar problems.

Disclaimer: All characters featured in this article are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This writing contains adult content. Reader discretion is requested. Since I used excerpts or portions of other people’s works for reference purposes, I would like to credit the author, Scott Adams, respectively.