It can be hard to admit that you suspect your husband or wife may be cheating on you. The potential pain and heartbreak, not to mention the embarrassment, of realizing this would be too much for most people. Still, if a part of you thinks something fishy might be going on, you should sit up and pay attention. Here are 5 signs of cheating in a marriage:

1. Your spouse suddenly buys you more gifts and is generally nicer to you than usual:

After being married for a while, most couples slide into a particular pattern of behavior that is fairly consistent over time. For example, practices like giving each other gifts tend to occur at predictable intervals (eg, birthdays and anniversaries), with the occasional surprise gift. Your marriage is likely to be no different: By now, you basically know what to expect from your spouse in terms of gifts and other niceties. So, if your spouse recently started buying you gifts, bringing you flowers, or acting overly nice or loving for no apparent reason, it’s quite possible that she is having an affair. This may seem counterintuitive, but it’s actually a common phenomenon. Bottom line: A recent outburst in your spouse’s extra-kind or loving behavior may be a manifestation of the guilt he or she feels about her illicit relationship.

2. You feel that something is not right, but you may be afraid to admit it.:

Human beings have an amazing ability to sense when something just isn’t quite right. Usually, it’s just a general feeling that something is wrong, even if the exact problem isn’t clear. For example, you may have experienced the feeling that you were being watched in a public place, only to turn around and see someone watching you intentionally. This sixth sense or intuition that we all have can also be applied to our marriage. If your spouse is having an affair, he or she may be acting subtly different in ways you feel but can’t quite identify. Trust your instincts and listen to your heart.

3. Your spouse is more irritable than usual and seems to be picking fights:

Has your spouse been particularly cranky lately? Does he or she seem to want to start a fight frequently? Of course, if there are obviously problems in her life, such as job loss, financial difficulties, or problems at work, these could easily explain the irritability. But, if you can’t pinpoint a particular cause for this odd behavior, your spouse may be unconsciously using her grumpy behavior as a way of distancing himself from you to lessen his guilt over an ongoing affair.

4. He or she has picked up new hobbies or clothes seemingly out of nowhere:

If your husband or wife has recently begun to show a sudden interest in a new hobby (for example, tennis, square dancing, or playing checkers), or if they have suddenly picked up a new style of music, such as country or hip hop. – this could be a sign that they have a lover next door. Reason: People in new relationships can be easily susceptible to picking up on the tastes of their new lovers, and they won’t hesitate to express those tastes in all areas of their lives.

5. Your spouse is more critical of you than usual:

If your spouse seems to have their back to you lately for everything it seems, this could be a sign that something is wrong. Similar to their need to fight you (see #3), cheating spouses try to play on the guilt they feel by justifying their actions by putting their spouse down (crazy and complicated, but true).

If, after reading about these 5 Signs of Cheating in Marriage, you have come to the conclusion that your spouse is cheating on you, you have some decisions to make. First, he must decide if he is going to confront his spouse about his realization. If you want your relationship to survive, at some point you will have to confront them about it.

Second, if you decide your relationship is worth saving, you should seek sound advice from a relationship expert on how to win back your husband or wife’s heart. I know it can work, because this is what saved my marriage.