“Just be yourself!”

These were the rather stern words of this intimidatingly beautiful woman he was dating several years ago. And his anger was directed directly at me!

Oh!

So in this article on how to be yourself, I’m going to explore what it really means to be yourself and why someone would spend some time NOT being themselves.

And to help me, I have engaged the services of 3 inspirational quotes.

Anyway, going back to the date that was not going well …

This woman’s words puzzled me. I realized that I was irritated that I was not myself, call it male intuition, or the fact that I was grunting as I spoke, but I also knew that I had spent my entire life doing just that: BEING MYSELF.

So he was puzzled and even a little frustrated. Because I knew that I specialized in being myself. For instance:

* I wore the clothes I wanted to wear

* I had my own thoughts and not someone else’s.

* I did not settle, I did not give in to the “rules” of life, often sad.

And I was more or less happy doing it, surrounded by friends who were happy to be me.

“The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else”

Anonymous said that. And I said “Tick” – challenge well and truly accepted.

So in what way was I not being myself?

Well, this is the part of being myself that I least understood at the time. But it is EXACTLY what my beautiful companion was referring to when she complained, “Be yourself!”

In short, what I was noticing was that I was saying one thing and FEELING another.

So I might have felt angry at the time, but I pretended to be calm. I may have been feeling sad, but I’d make my ‘happy’ face. I might even have been intimidated in this woman’s company, but I was too scared to show it (even to myself).

Yes, very often this state of ‘not being yourself’ is one that you don’t even realize you are in; These feelings of out of sync can be so normal to you that you just don’t notice them.

And for those times when you DO realize that you’re faking your feelings, well, you usually do it because … because of what the other person might think.

Oh yeah, we’re in family self-help territory now. Now we are seeing what prevents us from being ourselves, whether on the surface, with the fashion we follow, or deep down: we are afraid of not being accepted by others.

And I’m sure I’m not the only one who suffers from it. Chances are that you too can commit to being yourself because of what others may think; because others may ridicule your efforts for “individuality.”

Well fear not, because you and I come up with our own inspirational quote that might help us here:

“Use the talents you have: the forest would be very quiet if no birds sang there, except those that sing the best.”

– Henry Van Dyke

The stark truth is that ALL we can do is BE OURSELVES the best we can. If we choose to sing, dance or speak in public, however we decide to express who we are, it simply has to be for the best.

All we can do is EXPRESS OURSELVES in the most truthful and self-aware way that we can.

THEN … then we will be ourselves, whatever the consequences, we will be ourselves

But make no mistake, this journey of being yourself is not trivial. There will be difficulties along the way; there will be distractions. And we may well take one step forward and two steps back. However, it is VITAL to be yourself, vital.

So I’d like to end this article with these words from the author ee cummins, which pretty much sums up what I’ve been trying to say here:

“It takes courage to grow and become who you really are.”

Thank you, and I wish you all the best on your “being yourself” journey. And if you ever come across my date (I haven’t seen her in years, obviously) you’ll say “Thank you” too.